Arizona is Getting High-er

It seems like Arizona has turned into the Charlie Sheen of states and is consistently making the news. After the tragedy at the Safeway and other little insights into the questionable Arizona laws, the Grand Canyon State is making headlines again. This time it’s regarding their on-going battle with their border control. The state will now make their borders taller so that smugglers can no longer get marijuana over the line. It turns out a video camera had caught smugglers catapulting bags of marijuana over the border. Haven’t we seen this strategy before? Do they have Angry Birds down in Mexico too? Are they sure its drug smugglers and not those malicious little birds trying to knock down those pesky pigs? I guess Arizona’s only option is to get higher, with their border that is.

What You Mean It's Not Meat?

Just this morning while surfing the web, I stumbled upon some seriously disturbing news. Apparently Taco Bell’s ground beef is not really ground beef at all! Ok, I understand this is not really big news, and its “breaking news” level is along the same lines as a story about Lindsay Lohan getting arrested for public intoxication and going back to rehab. The part that disturbed me is the fact that the state of Alabama felt the need to hire a law firm and point out the untruths in Taco Bells meat advertising. Uh...thanks Alabama, but it seems as if it’s a little too late ya’ll. With documentaries and stories coming out from every direction exposing the American fast food industry’s food and advertising as deceptive and fake, who still believes in the wholesomeness and quality of this business? I guess Alabama feels hurt and duped by the fact they were being lied to all this time and needs to do something about it. Kind of like a girlfriend who finds out the love of her life has been lying to her for months straight; the only difference being she probably got over it and never hired a law firm to sue anybody. So how bad is it? Turns out the scrumptious mixture we know as Taco Bell meat has only 35% beef and 65% other ingredients. Ok. Thanks Alabama for pointing that out, but guess what? At 3AM chances are that the 1-mile line of cars leading to the Taco Bell pick up window will prove that no matter what the quality of meat is people are still going to be thinking outside the bun.

I Pick You

Well after yesterday we finally found out the two lucky teams to make it to the Super Bowl, the two teams to face off and go down in history. Unfortunately the Jets did not make the final two. Now let me start by saying I am in no way a Jets fan, nor do I associate with fans of this team (well sometimes, on the rare occasion), but I’m a little bummed that we will not be seeing anymore Jet-antics for the remainder of the season. No more scandals, no more trash talking, no more foot fetish videos, no more tripping other players, none of that. The team you love to hate is out of it, and it feels a little bittersweet. You’re happy the run is over, but sad to wonder if they could have added any more sleaze and shame to the NFL. Congratulations to the Green Bay and Pittsburgh teams and goodbye to the Jets.

It's Bumpin'

Word on the street is the new hot trend in high schools now is teen pregnancy. 90 students are pregnant or recently had babies at this one Memphis high school. Don’t believe me? Check out the article here. What is going on? Why is being pregnant so cool? Is that what’s hot on MTV? Oh wait! That IS what’s hot on MTV. These kids are bombarded with reality shows like Teen Mom and 16 and Pregnant. Imagine the school cafeteria? How do they manage to keep up with all these prenatal cravings? Walking down the hallways with all these pregnant bellies must resemble a bumper pool table. Wouldn’t you think? What does this all mean? Are we giving the “OK” to teenagers everywhere who are contemplating being parents at such a young age? One thing I can tell you is say goodbye to the wholesome PTA events. In 10 years I predict PTA events transitioning from “Spaghetti Nights” and “Bake Sales” to “Clubbin’ Nights” and “Beer Pong.”

Having Fun With Ink

I was inspired while doing some online surfing. This entry has no insight and is not suggesting any type of harm on any political or celebrity figure. It just makes me laugh. It's fun to see how much ink amuses me.

Who Needs Snow Anyway?

One of these states is not like the others. Which one could it be? Of course it’s Florida! According to news reports yesterday it was snowing in 49 of our 50 states. The only state not wanting to play in the “me too” game is Florida. Oh well. Sorry guys! There goes one more reason to dislike us. Yes, we adopt every reject and mentally insane person all other states reject, we can’t count votes for anything and we have continuously sunny weather. Hate us. But wait! Didn’t it snow in Miami during the mid-80s you may ask? Some do believe this actually happened, but for everyone else it was confirmed that a plane of cocaine was flying over the city and has sprinkled white powder along the coast of South Florida. Sorry to burst everyone’s bubble. I was told that story many times as a young child too, as well as the story of the Dolphins’ perfect season. There’s always hope and if we wish hard enough it may happen again…for the Dolphins.

Is that You Comedy Central?

The New Year is here and many people are noticing the familiar term “out with the old and in with the new.” This was exactly the case when I was watching the news last night on my choice of news broadcast shows The Daily Show. (I would like to take a pause right here and remember those who were victims of the shooting in Arizona. I also think John Stewart had great insight on the incident and probably put into words the thoughts that were harvesting in most of our minds). So when my news broadcast went on to a commercial break I noticed something wasn’t right, a change was made and I didn’t know why. Comedy Central had changed their logo. I don’t know how I feel about this because I didn’t see a problem with their previous branding symbol. Were they trying to get a little more serious? Was the old logo just not funny anymore? Is Comedy Central growing up? Did this happen when the old logo and the Chanel logo ended up getting sloppy drunk at a holiday party? So many questions run around in my head unanswered. What I can say is the new logo, which looks like it got ripped off of Comcast or even the Copyright circle, doesn’t give me that warm tingly feeling inside. If this logo was a person, I don’t think I would invite them over or even out to a work lunch with me. I’m not saying I can’t change my mind. I just don’t see the appeal. What gives Comedy Central?

It's Pronounced 2011

Happy New Year!!! It’s a brand new year and a brand new look on life. Well, not necessarily brand new, but I am set to change the world. Not every aspect of the world, but at least the way America pronounces the New Year. After 1999 we had the years 2000-2009 and pronounced them “two-thousand” through “two-thousand and nine.” But now that we are getting up there in years, it is my resolution and responsibility to tell people the proper way to pronounce the new year. It is not going to be “two-thousand and eleven” it is now pronounced “twenty-eleven” in order to conform to the previous naming convention used for earlier years like “nineteen ninety-seven” not “one-thousand nine-hundred and ninety seven.” So next time you hear someone pronounce our new year as “two-thousand eleven” take them aside (so as not to embarrass them) and explain to them the proper way to pronounce the new year. Trust me, they will be extremely thankful. Not only are you helping them out from ever sounding like an ass again, but also you are doing your duty as an educated individual to share the knowledge. Please take this into consideration and remember its pronounced 2011. Happy New Year!