College undergrads abusing alcohol is a tale as old as time. So why is it a certain alcoholic beverage is getting banned from campuses across the nation? In a nutshell this drink is the perfect drink for the college audience and campuses want to take it away. Damn you college administrations! You know the drink I’m talking about. If not, get with the program; it’s called Four Loko and it’s the perfect college drink. What makes a perfect college drink? Well since most college kids are up to their eyeballs in student loans and debt it’s very important that their liquor of choice be extremely affordable. Four Loko is only $3 for a 12.5-ounce can. Also a perfect college drink has to keep you up considering a college undergrad has been going to class, studying, working a part time job, rushing for a fraternity and campaigning for clubs during the day. This can become quite exhausting. Four Loko is actually loaded with tons of caffeine and taurine and will even keep a narcoleptic awake for hours. Finally the perfect college drink has to, well…get you drunk, and Four Loko has that covered. It’s a shame that colleges don’t understand the importance of “getting plastered” right before your first day of classes. Don’t they know a certain college initiation must commence before you get that first "F" for not showing up to class because of an awesome hangover? So what if Four Loko is being compared to liquid cocaine and is considered the new substitute for rufilin? How else are those obnoxious frat boys going to get girls to lower their inhibitions, forget their standards and stay over their houses anyways? Isn’t that what college is about? I guess some administrations will never understand. Until then…let’s get loko!
No comments:
Post a Comment