Facebook Makes Me Depressed

I am extremely close to starting a petition where a disclaimer must be used before signing in to your Facebook. Facebook is not the safe place you use to love! It has become a cold, mean, sad, backstabbing and depressing world that you must conquer alone in the depths of your computer with nothing but a shot of vodka to keep you company. This may not be the case for everyone, but everyone can blame the social network for causing you the tiniest bit of depression. Maybe? Do you notice only great photos, good times, and uniting with lovers are the only things people post on their walls? And you can choose to “comment” or “like.” Do you notice the absence of a “dislike” button is because it goes against the first rule of Facebook, there will be no disliking! No negativity! Sure everyone can post the fun party pics, but I want to see you the next day when you’re hung over and driving the ceramic bus. Why only post the happy things going on in your life? My only hope is that maybe Google+ will answer our prayers and slay the nauseatingly optimistic Facebook. I will keep my fingers crossed! Until then, if anyone posts one more engagement ring, exotic vacation, promotion, brand new baby, wedding party, or anniversary photos…I will delete you. May the misanthropes unite on Google+ and share a funny self-deprecating story or enlightening ideas…not a 5-minute video of their kitten taking a nap.

Sniff Your Veggies

Sometimes eating your vegetables can be such a daunting task. Don’t you wish a company would come around and make eating vegetables easier? You know, taking away the whole cooking, seasoning, cutting, tasting, chewing and swallowing aspect? If you believe this question rings true to your opinions, then you’re in luck. Bubble Foods has come up with a powdered asparagus product you snort up your nose like cocaine. You get all the vitamins with no actions of consumption or actually having to taste it. How great is that? No word yet on whether or not the powdery-snortable asparagus makes your pee smell.

A Tale of Superstition

Superstition is a bitch. Forget it, superstition isn’t a bitch…it’s a nagging mother that makes you feel guilty…you BETTER do this or else…or else your team will lose, or else you won’t get that promotion, or else you will get 4-7 years of bad luck! We try to ignore our superstitious tendencies, but for some reason they nag at us until we feel we need to sit in the same position while watching that game or forward that last email of the hugging kittens just because. Why do we give in? I guess the answer to that question is YOU NEVER KNOW! Who knows what your aura brings to the universe in the grand scheme of things. It could be because of your stinky socks that the Marlins have won 3 games in a row (disclaimer: currently the Marlins have not won 3 games in a row). This intro does have a story by the way, and I am not just rambling on. My mom has had a set of 3 Miami Heat helium balloons since March. She originally bought them at Party City for my little brother’s birthday. While she was in line buying the balloons someone (this is where the story gets good) tells her she can come back to Party City to refill the balloons with helium as many times as she wants to…for free just as long as she brings in her receipt. She was ecstatic! Needless to say she has been going back to Party City to refill those Miami Heat helium balloons for the past several games with the belief that as long as there is air in those balloons, there will be a long and prosperous season for the Miami Heat. Now, the receipt that was once fresh and crisp is now faded and tattered, but its value is still of importance. No one paid any attention to her crazy superstitious theory until the Miami Heat lost their second game to the Dallas Mavericks in what should have been a definite win. All eyes looked towards the balloons in the corner of the room who’s appearance looked as deflated as Lebron James’ ego in the post game interviews. From then on it has been my mother’s sole duty to maintain air and buoyancy in the Miami Heat balloons. Fresh balloons = A Heat win. Sunday night was game 3 and it was 5:45PM. The countdown to the game had begun, until we realized the balloons were still deflated. Mom went into panic mode and made it apparent that we HAD to get to Party City before 6PM, their closing time, in order to refill the balloons with helium. We pulled into the parking lot at 5:56PM. The game plan was for me to take the balloons to get the refill and she would go to Publix, we needed milk. We were to meet back at the car in 5 minutes. Every thing was going according to plan until Party City had locked their doors. I banged on the door and got the attention of the 16-year-old attendant. She opened the door and asked, “what is it that you need?” I explained how important it was that I get these Heat balloons filled with air because if not they WILL lose. I’m sure I amused her since she let me in. I handed my balloons over for the refill and one of the attendants said, “you know you remind me of this crazy lady that comes in here every game to fill up her balloons.” I confessed that was my mother and he looked sheepish. But who IS the crazy one? They won on Sunday night and the balloons were filled with helium!

The Calming Effect of Destruction

Here's a story of how and why I find the image above to be peaceful and calming. A friend of mine showed me this link to the aftermath of the Hiroshima atomic blast that happened about 70 years ago. No one was allowed to take photos of the resulting terror except for the US Strategic Bombing Survey team. Years later these photos were found in a suitcase in a pile of trash. What my friend had said initially was “Beautiful, serene and calming isn’t it?” I couldn’t believe anything like that would be so beautiful. All I saw was a man-made monstrosity. This is not the aftermath of an earthquake, tsunami or hurricane. Humans did this. I told him this isn’t calming or serene…a deserted island or beach is calming…this is horrific! But then my friend’s words forced me to look at the photos again, and I did see how this could be calming. As a human race we aren’t predators. In a one-on-one battle with a species higher on the food chain, our chances of surviving are very slim. This is why being amidst destruction can be calming, even more calming than on a deserted island. You never know what may be lurking around on a deserted island, so instincts may have you on defense. On the other hand if you are surrounded by destruction, there’s really a slim chance of anything surviving and attacking you. Unless you’re starring in a Hollywood blockbuster and a village of mutant humans living in the empty gas station are attacking and feeding off human flesh. So it would make sense that this could be more calming. Take look and let me know what you think. http://flavorwire.com/183447/view-once-classified-photos-of-ground-zero-hiroshima

Summah-Summah-SummahTime!

Hot days, popsicles and sprinklers. Summer is here! It used to be a happy time, a time of vacationing and relaxation. Sitting out by the pool and enjoying freedom with my friends were consistent activities that filled an empty schedule. I lose that sense of joy that summer brings now that my seasons are no longer defined by school vacationing schedules, but the intensity of heat that I feel whenever I step out of the office for my lunch break. I just curse the hot weather that turns my car into a temporary incinerator. It’s a sad realization that I’m sucked into a cycle of waking, working, and sleeping until the next weekend comes along. So I’ve concocted a common cure to the summer vacation withdrawal for those of us who are now in the working world with a couple of summertime items that may help with the summertime blues in the workplace. I’m embracing the clear acrylic poolside cup. Nothing screams summer like an acrylic cup filled to the top with ice and a straw and some juice. I’m also thinking about draping my desk chair with a beach towel, surrounding my area with sand, and using SPF lotion scented with coconut oil instead of regular body lotion. I’ve opted to leave the beach umbrella at home considering people around my area may be a little superstitious with an open umbrella indoors, very thoughtful on my part. I’m also compiling a “mixtape” of summer jams that I would rock out to as a youngster with Fresh Prince’s and Jazzy Jeff’s “Summertime” being number one. Which brings me to the question of the day…why do we still call them mixtapes and sextapes? Should we not think of something new considering my 14 year-old brother doesn’t even know what a “tape” is? Maybe mixes? Or files? Or zips as in a zipfile? My “mixzip” or her “sexzip” sounds appealing…no?

No Meat, More Skin

It’s almost Easter, which means my Lent fasting is almost over. For those of you who were not raised Catholic or did not attend Catholic schools for 15 years of your life, like myself, Lent is our way of mourning the death of Jesus and as a result we give up something for the 40 days and 40 nights leading up to the resurrection. So my plan was to give up red meat. No Five Guys, no filet mignon, just pure chicken and fish. It wasn’t that difficult after getting accustomed to the new diet, but after seeing THIS?!?!? Did you see this PETA Ad? I know I have been posting a lot of PETA stuff lately and it is entirely unintentional, but they have AMAZING ads. Sex sells and PETA is selling their cruelty-free ways all over the Internet. Now I’m not saying I plan on converting and am going to walk around with red paint and drench some ladies wearing fur as they shop through the stores at Bal Harbour. I would never do that! It’s Miami! You never know who is carrying a gun, and it’s way too hot to wear fur. But honestly, if I could look like that?!?!? I would give up meat…for a week or so…or until the next time McDonalds re-releases their McRib sandwich…MmmMmm.

Look Ma, No Pants Part II

Looks like the Ink Not Mink campaign did not start with Waka Flocka Flame, thank goodness. If some of you are like me, and still can't get over Waka's couch potato pudge, then rest assured that there is hope with the nude tatted musician population. Dave Navarro, the most beautiful man ever in my opinion, was the poster child for this campaign a little over a year ago. They got it right that time. PETA, I know you're trying to get your point across, but please have models complete a thorough work out plan and diet regimen at least a month before the shoot. Nothing is better than a man in eyeliner.

Read Before Playing

“And I would’ve gotten away with it too if it weren’t for you pesky kids” is a familiar phrase heard at the end of almost every Scooby-Doo episode and probably what Clara Walker told her husband when she was exposed as a cheater after he read her emails. Leon Walker, Clara Walker’s husband, suspected his wife of cheating. He found proof of her infidelity after he ransacked her email for suspicious exchanges between her and her ex-husband. So you know how the story goes, he found what he was looking for and took his wife to court. What he didn’t look for was a lawsuit that got slapped on his ass for felony computer misuse charges. I believe it’s called “hacking.” For anyone who is a fan of going through other people’s things please remember IT IS A CRIME. So should you feel the urge to go through your significant other’s cell phones, emails, or Facebook messages remember you could be facing up to 5 years of time if caught. Just leave it alone. Don’t say I never warned you.

Bad Drivers: Part III

The lines that we have to drive between are not there as a suggestion. I am talking to the hover drivers. The next installment of bad drivers highlights “the hoverer.” The Hoverer has no respect for the lines that we stay inside of. He was probably the kid in art class that colored all over the paper with disregard to any drawing. When I am driving and a hoverer is approaching me while seemingly trying to sideswipe me a certain feeling of agitation and nausea comes over and I get scared. I envision this crazy driver just grabbing the wheel and maliciously knocking me off the road. Who knows what is really going on in the hoverer’s mind? They should be concentrating on staying in between those little dashed lines. But they aren’t. They are scrolling for the next song on their iPod, dialing their friend, checking their teeth and using their knees for steering with no regard of their or your safety. A way to avoid the hoverer is to quickly pass them and leave them behind so they have no way of coming back in your driving area. Just imagine this is your own little high-speed chase from whatever is coming after you. Then once they are gone, you can carry on your merry way with one hand on 10:00 and the other on 2:00.

Not a Scene From a Movie

The video is not a scene from a Cormac McCarthy novel; it’s footage of Japan. I’ve never been to Japan, but the stories that have been told by my peers continue to flow with nothing but praise and admiration. Their culture, food and presentation surpass your average dedication to meticulousness. Unfortunately the catastrophe that has happened to them within the past week helps us realize that environmental disasters have no prejudice when it comes to first world countries. This concept makes us realize that no matter how well off a country is, it is still vulnerable and has no defense against an environmental tragedy. My heart and prayers don’t necessarily go out to the souls that were lost from the earthquake and tsunami. They go out to all the survivors who have been through this, are now living in this and dealing with the aftermath of mess, hunger and loneliness. There lives will never be the same. I hope they survive and turn around this heartbreak for the better.

He Said Look Ma...No Pants!

Possibly one of the worse celebrity ads? Ever heard of Waka Flocka? If not, he's a rapper that came to fame with songs such as “Oh Let’s Do It” and “No Hands.” But for some reason I think he will now be known as that rapper who got naked on the Peta ads and covered his nether regions with his bling. Oh My! Doesn’t Lil’ Wayne have way more tattoos? Wouldn’t he be a little better of a choice? Oh that’s right. I highly doubt Lil’ Wayne would actually partake in this type of advertising. There’s just some things that should not be made public and Waka Flocka naked should be one of them. What do you think?

International Women's Day!

Today is International Women’s Day! Yayyy!!!!! How do you celebrate this day if you are a woman? I have no idea and am open to any suggestions. I guess you can look at how far we’ve come by looking back. While searching through vintage ads that portrayed women as nothing more than sexual objects, I found one ad that I absolutely adored. The Woman’s Head! Just like a hunter who proudly hangs the head of his largest game, a man can hang the head of a woman he has proudly conquered. They even have 3 different options: redhead, brunette and blonde! I guess the Hispanic, Black and Asian models didn’t make an appearance until a Women’s Head 2.0 came out a couple years later.

Breast Milk Ice Cream!

Boob-juice ice cream is going to be hitting the markets on Friday. Icecreamists, an ice cream shop in London, has created ice cream with human milk. Hmmmm….so many questions initially come to mind, like is this safe? Apparently, according to the online ad, the milk-donors had to pass a screening before the pumping began. The ice cream will be sold at $23 a scoop. I would like to know how they came up with this idea, and what they were smoking. In my mind, he conversation went something like this (in British accents):

“Yea this ice cream tastes great, but it’s cow’s milk chap. We aren’t raised to drink cow’s milk. What other animal you know drinks another animal’s milk?”
“What are you trying to say chap?”
“We need to drink human milk! It’s brilliant!”
“No mate, that’s not right.”
“Ok. So how about if we make ice cream out of human milk?”
“Bullocks!”

So who’s going to be lining up to try this out? And what benefits will it bring to the consumer’s health?

A Vag Pad?

You know it’s coming. Two characters that are definitely digging each other in the movie you’re watching have their love scene. They rip their clothes off and leap into bed. Are they doing it? Does it look like it? Thanks to Hollywood cinematography, filmed sex scenes are faker than MTV reality shows. Female actors now wear “vag pads” to cover up their stuff. Apparently this prevents penetration, because penetration in the movie is equal to porn and Hollywood doesn’t want that. It sounds like another Tinsel Town secret has been revealed, gracias Emmy Rossum. That’s why I watch Independent films. I don’t think they have extra money in their small budgets for “vag pads” which makes their scenes a little more real. By the way, what did they use when filming Brokeback Mountain?

Literally Is Killing Me, Figuratively Speaking

“Literally,” the word, has been raped and beaten to death by the mouths of young people all around. I first noticed the misuse of literally while watching a show of Jersey Shore. Then I heard it in conversation. Literally now seems to be taking the place of “seriously,” or it’s a word placement of some phrases where it does not belong. For example when I hear someone say “OMG! You’re so funny I literally peed my pants,” I expect to look down and see that person standing in a puddle of their own urine. When I overhear a story of someone’s great weekend anecdote, and they say, “I literally died when that happened,” I want to say no you didn’t or else you wouldn’t be here. People also say literally just for the hell of it. For instance, “I literally forgot how do to that.” There is no way to literally forget something. You either forget or you remember. That’s it! There is figurative speaking and literal speaking. Figurative is when you say, “I’m so hungry I could eat a whole elephant.” Or this could be said by saying, “I was so hungry I ate the entire sandwich,” and it’s very possible to be taken literally when you say this since it is possible to eat a whole sandwich but not a whole elephant. Please keep this in mind before you literally open your mouth. Hopefully this is the only thing that catches on from this show because it would be a shame if the new look in women’s fashion consisted of short skirts, UGG boots, Coach bags and a hair bump.

Too Much Bootie In The Pants

It seems as if our body type preferential trends are slightly steering towards the ass. I’m sure there are some guys out there who still prefer a nice rack, but the bootie-craze has taken off. Now instead of push up bras women can get padded underwear to accentuate their barely there tushies. Prominent top-heavy figures like Dolly Parton and Pamela Anderson have been replaced by sex symbols with bigger bottoms like JLo and Kim K. Only time will tell whether or not breast implants will be superseded by ass implants. I found a YouTube video of these girls who put a camera in their back pockets to catch all the stares a nice butt gets. Check it out.

Bad Drivers Part II

It happens to everyone. We don’t look forward to it, but we know it will happen sooner or later when we are driving on the highway. It’s the accident on the side of the road. No one likes to be in the congestion let alone be a part of it. However it is inevitable that the effect of a highway bumper buster will be the closing of a lane, forcing two lanes to merge. A simple social theory has been tested that states when two lanes merge, no matter what lane you are a part of, you acknowledge the zipper effect. The zipper effect is a practice done when one car goes ahead from one lane and the second car proceeds from the second lane. You let one person through, then you go through. We may not have been raised the same way, we may disagree on beliefs, we may side with different end of the political spectrum, but one thing we all can agree on is the zipper effect. In situations like the one mentioned, it works. This entry is dedicated to the person who bypasses what is right and does not acknowledge the zipper effect. You may not know this, but by skipping your turn or pushing your car through the process, you are secretly loathed by all of your peer drivers. Take this into consideration next time you find yourself in that situation and act accordingly. The drivers will thank you.

A New "Clean" Drug

Most people love to take baths to relax. Many industries make large profits on aromatherapy, candles, bubble bath gels and soaking salts because of this past time. The lovely people in Florida love their bath salts and how they smell. In fact when sniffed hard enough, the bath salts, sold at convenience stores and gas stations, give you same effects as meth and cocaine. Now when I need to get some nice bath salts, gas stations or convenience stores do not come to mind, and my bath salts do not come packaged in a little baggie that could be easily confused for gram of cocaine. The funniest part is how someone figured out that sniffing these bath salts bought at the corner store would give you a sufficient high. Was this the result of a double-dog dare? Did someone say a really bad word, and instead of the conventional “soap-in-mouth” approach, their parents figured snorting bath salts would be a little more extreme? People get more and more entertaining every day.

Me So Vote-y!

If the Terminator can get elected governor, then Uncle Luke should be a shoe-in for Miami’s mayor. Mr. Me So Horny wants to make a change in Miami. The areas that need the most help are still doing poorly and it seems things in the 305 only look better for a select group of Miamians. He addressed the fact that Miami International Airport has been experiencing the same construction for the past 20 years (anyone from Miami knows they don’t fly in or out of MIA) and the rising cost of housing. He plans on making money for the city by taxing the strippers (tax that, tax that, hoochie mama). Our new city slogan can be "Miami has ass that pays." I’m excited about the outcome of this situation and am on Uncle Luke’s side. Will he be Miami’s new hope?

Bad Drivers Part I

Everyone loves to talk about how their town has the worst drivers. I have never heard a city congratulate itself on having the best drivers in the country. So I think it’s pretty much safe to say there are bad drivers EVERYWHERE. Starting today and continuing every Wednesday I will illustrate a different type of horrible driver. I’m sure these are drivers that everyone can relate to and hopefully you are not one of them. My first post goes out to the driver who doesn’t acknowledge the left hand lane. When you are on a highway, the left hand lane is reserved for the faster cars or passing and not as another lane option to cruise at 50MPH. I know what you’re going to say, the speed limit says 65MPH, therefore I am going the speed limit. This may be true for the right hand lane where the speed limit is enforced, however in the left hand lane the speed limit is just a suggestion. Please keep these rules under consideration should you feel the need to veer off into the left hand lane while steadily cruising at 60MPH.

No Way Chick-Fil-A

Have you ever loved someone? I mean really, really love someone? Let’s say you had read something about that person you love on the Internet and you were left devastated. Then you tell yourself, it’s only the Internet and it can’t be true. This person would never betray you. You know them; they’re not like that. It happens everyday, and it just happened to me. I do love. I did love. I happened to love Chick-Fil-A immensely and just found out they provide FREE food to anti-gay rallies. It was a punch to the gut. I understand it is a Christian based organization. I understand they are probably judgmental as most Christian followers are, but I would never imagine good Christian companies to incite the fuel of hate that slithers around this country dividing us by views instead of uniting us with love. How could you Chick-Fil-A! I loved you. Now I’m torn between what is right and what is delicious. Will I stay strong and steer clear from the homo-haters or will they give me that southern charm and melt me like butter on the surface of one of their fresh-baked buttermilk morning biscuits?

Not Patton Oswalt's Lovechild

When it’s storming outside and nothing is going right people look to their favorite things to cheer them up. For the moment my favorite thing is watching Keenan Cahill’s “Down on Me” YouTube video with 50 Cent. Who is this kid? He’s hilarious and makes me happier than a bundle of rainbows and unicorns. Did I mention how adorable he is? No, he’s not Patton Oswalt’s lovechild, trust me, I already googled it. Whatever he’s doing he better keep it going. He has millions of YouTube views and Fifty Cent in his bedroom. What I wouldn’t give to just have one of those things. Some guys get all the luck. The best part of the video is that he doesn’t even make his bed or clean up his room for Fifty. Why does he need to? He’s Keenan Cahill. I love this kid!

Arizona is Getting High-er

It seems like Arizona has turned into the Charlie Sheen of states and is consistently making the news. After the tragedy at the Safeway and other little insights into the questionable Arizona laws, the Grand Canyon State is making headlines again. This time it’s regarding their on-going battle with their border control. The state will now make their borders taller so that smugglers can no longer get marijuana over the line. It turns out a video camera had caught smugglers catapulting bags of marijuana over the border. Haven’t we seen this strategy before? Do they have Angry Birds down in Mexico too? Are they sure its drug smugglers and not those malicious little birds trying to knock down those pesky pigs? I guess Arizona’s only option is to get higher, with their border that is.

What You Mean It's Not Meat?

Just this morning while surfing the web, I stumbled upon some seriously disturbing news. Apparently Taco Bell’s ground beef is not really ground beef at all! Ok, I understand this is not really big news, and its “breaking news” level is along the same lines as a story about Lindsay Lohan getting arrested for public intoxication and going back to rehab. The part that disturbed me is the fact that the state of Alabama felt the need to hire a law firm and point out the untruths in Taco Bells meat advertising. Uh...thanks Alabama, but it seems as if it’s a little too late ya’ll. With documentaries and stories coming out from every direction exposing the American fast food industry’s food and advertising as deceptive and fake, who still believes in the wholesomeness and quality of this business? I guess Alabama feels hurt and duped by the fact they were being lied to all this time and needs to do something about it. Kind of like a girlfriend who finds out the love of her life has been lying to her for months straight; the only difference being she probably got over it and never hired a law firm to sue anybody. So how bad is it? Turns out the scrumptious mixture we know as Taco Bell meat has only 35% beef and 65% other ingredients. Ok. Thanks Alabama for pointing that out, but guess what? At 3AM chances are that the 1-mile line of cars leading to the Taco Bell pick up window will prove that no matter what the quality of meat is people are still going to be thinking outside the bun.

I Pick You

Well after yesterday we finally found out the two lucky teams to make it to the Super Bowl, the two teams to face off and go down in history. Unfortunately the Jets did not make the final two. Now let me start by saying I am in no way a Jets fan, nor do I associate with fans of this team (well sometimes, on the rare occasion), but I’m a little bummed that we will not be seeing anymore Jet-antics for the remainder of the season. No more scandals, no more trash talking, no more foot fetish videos, no more tripping other players, none of that. The team you love to hate is out of it, and it feels a little bittersweet. You’re happy the run is over, but sad to wonder if they could have added any more sleaze and shame to the NFL. Congratulations to the Green Bay and Pittsburgh teams and goodbye to the Jets.

It's Bumpin'

Word on the street is the new hot trend in high schools now is teen pregnancy. 90 students are pregnant or recently had babies at this one Memphis high school. Don’t believe me? Check out the article here. What is going on? Why is being pregnant so cool? Is that what’s hot on MTV? Oh wait! That IS what’s hot on MTV. These kids are bombarded with reality shows like Teen Mom and 16 and Pregnant. Imagine the school cafeteria? How do they manage to keep up with all these prenatal cravings? Walking down the hallways with all these pregnant bellies must resemble a bumper pool table. Wouldn’t you think? What does this all mean? Are we giving the “OK” to teenagers everywhere who are contemplating being parents at such a young age? One thing I can tell you is say goodbye to the wholesome PTA events. In 10 years I predict PTA events transitioning from “Spaghetti Nights” and “Bake Sales” to “Clubbin’ Nights” and “Beer Pong.”

Having Fun With Ink

I was inspired while doing some online surfing. This entry has no insight and is not suggesting any type of harm on any political or celebrity figure. It just makes me laugh. It's fun to see how much ink amuses me.

Who Needs Snow Anyway?

One of these states is not like the others. Which one could it be? Of course it’s Florida! According to news reports yesterday it was snowing in 49 of our 50 states. The only state not wanting to play in the “me too” game is Florida. Oh well. Sorry guys! There goes one more reason to dislike us. Yes, we adopt every reject and mentally insane person all other states reject, we can’t count votes for anything and we have continuously sunny weather. Hate us. But wait! Didn’t it snow in Miami during the mid-80s you may ask? Some do believe this actually happened, but for everyone else it was confirmed that a plane of cocaine was flying over the city and has sprinkled white powder along the coast of South Florida. Sorry to burst everyone’s bubble. I was told that story many times as a young child too, as well as the story of the Dolphins’ perfect season. There’s always hope and if we wish hard enough it may happen again…for the Dolphins.

Is that You Comedy Central?

The New Year is here and many people are noticing the familiar term “out with the old and in with the new.” This was exactly the case when I was watching the news last night on my choice of news broadcast shows The Daily Show. (I would like to take a pause right here and remember those who were victims of the shooting in Arizona. I also think John Stewart had great insight on the incident and probably put into words the thoughts that were harvesting in most of our minds). So when my news broadcast went on to a commercial break I noticed something wasn’t right, a change was made and I didn’t know why. Comedy Central had changed their logo. I don’t know how I feel about this because I didn’t see a problem with their previous branding symbol. Were they trying to get a little more serious? Was the old logo just not funny anymore? Is Comedy Central growing up? Did this happen when the old logo and the Chanel logo ended up getting sloppy drunk at a holiday party? So many questions run around in my head unanswered. What I can say is the new logo, which looks like it got ripped off of Comcast or even the Copyright circle, doesn’t give me that warm tingly feeling inside. If this logo was a person, I don’t think I would invite them over or even out to a work lunch with me. I’m not saying I can’t change my mind. I just don’t see the appeal. What gives Comedy Central?

It's Pronounced 2011

Happy New Year!!! It’s a brand new year and a brand new look on life. Well, not necessarily brand new, but I am set to change the world. Not every aspect of the world, but at least the way America pronounces the New Year. After 1999 we had the years 2000-2009 and pronounced them “two-thousand” through “two-thousand and nine.” But now that we are getting up there in years, it is my resolution and responsibility to tell people the proper way to pronounce the new year. It is not going to be “two-thousand and eleven” it is now pronounced “twenty-eleven” in order to conform to the previous naming convention used for earlier years like “nineteen ninety-seven” not “one-thousand nine-hundred and ninety seven.” So next time you hear someone pronounce our new year as “two-thousand eleven” take them aside (so as not to embarrass them) and explain to them the proper way to pronounce the new year. Trust me, they will be extremely thankful. Not only are you helping them out from ever sounding like an ass again, but also you are doing your duty as an educated individual to share the knowledge. Please take this into consideration and remember its pronounced 2011. Happy New Year!